| | i know nothing but hate and pain. its like something in my head just switched off and i have become a diffrent person. well after pulling a suicid (wich didnt work, pissed me off) and seeing some of the things that i saw, and meeting the person i meet. i think that anyone would change. i used to be a nice guy who liked to do lots of fun and crazy thing with mt friends and family. now i hate everything and everone, even some of my closes friends. just a few weeks ago my best freind was shot and i didnt care what so ever. my aunt was close do dying and i didnt even care. i was super close to killing my own friends and there families one day but i stopped my self. i dont know why i stopped but i did. now im just a empty person putting on a smile everday acting like im fine, but i know that one day im going to do it agin. im going to kill myself. but after 2 faild attemps i dont think it will work . but hey they say threes a lucky number. yeah right luck. i havent had any luck in my whole life. shit went from bad to worse everday. i was a nobody at school, hardly had any friends and my own parents told me to go and kill myself. then i went off and did something stupid and i lost the person that ment the most to me. but now i have no emotions what so ever, if my parents were killed, i wouldnt care, if my best friend was kill right in fron of me, i wouldnt care. even if the one i cared for was to dye, i wouldnt care. this is what i have become and i dont know if i will ever change. well i can say i dont think i will change, and nothing is going to change me . not god, not the devil, not friends, not family, none of them can change me now. im to far in the darkness and have lost all site of the light. |
| | Posted 2/7/2006 4:06 AM - 1 View - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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